Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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