so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Boobs are out for the taking
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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