therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
