my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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