just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
