Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
His nipple licking is glorious
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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