I wish my penis had an off switch
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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