My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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