With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
