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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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