i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
