Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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