I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
