I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
