Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
