oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
