I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
