i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
