thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
