6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
If that was your dad, he is hot
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
