4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Are we still banned from the library?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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