I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
