scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
BRING THE BAGELS
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
