god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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