Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
