I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
