Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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