Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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