Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
