This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
