The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just want to make out with him forever
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
