I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
