We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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