Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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