BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
