they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
