you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
