Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
