Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
