Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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