Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
