he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
