if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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