Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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