The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
