is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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