my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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