I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
its liver damage thursday
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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