somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
