he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
