I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
